The Dungeon Chronicles : Aerodynamics of a Dwarf
We often talk about the wealth and the legendary … height of dwarvish excellence. But rarely do we touch on the extremely important subject in combat ; the aerodynamics and dare I say even the grace of dwarves.
Today we put an end to that with a little lesson in physics from experts for experts !
Aerodynamics 101 : How does the dwarf move through space, how does he cut through the air as if he were one with it ? And most importantly in what situation could he possibly need to do that ?
All about the field
Sliding is good, but sliding good is better.
Envision a dwarf. In a fight. See his companions. And maybe 5 Orcs around.
And barrels of beer.
You might not see where this is going but everything is about to be clearer.
A barrel can break, and beer on the floor, not only does it ruin your floorboard but it makes everything slippery if no one mops it up. And except if they are about to do it with your face, no one in the room wants to mop up !
There is the beginning of your main problem in this situation : How to survive the beer puddle. If you walk on it, you will slip on it, it’s almost certain my friends. But you don’t have to slip like a moron. You could slip like a dwarf.
First of all, the dwarf is the ideal height so that the fall distance, and therefore damages, are limited. The dwarf’s mythical beard will slow down the impact by creating a cheap and easily transportable
We give you a slow-motion version of the action for your viewing pleasure.
Don't thank us.
We will ask you to use your imagination again for a second round. This time no more barrel but no more floorboard either. We’re on ice and we want as much elegance and flexiblity as a figure skater !
The problem with beer was handling the height of your fall, but with ice, it’s a distance problem !
On beer you walk, you fly, you fall flat on your face.
On ice you walk, you fly long distance and then you fall flat on your face. And wherever you walk it will happen.
And –there– we want to cut through the air, we want to come out of those challenging times shining bright like gold in front of a flame, not like a piece of ham in the middle of the night.
The dwarvish secret : His helmet creates a smooth surface with the perfect material for optimal air ingress. Sliding you control is sliding that will hurt less, because we promise you it hurts less when it’s done smoothly !
You now have the key to dwarvish resistance in the face of the unexpected.
We can’t promise you won’t end up knocked out for a few minutes or that you would lose a few bones or limbs in the process. But at least you’ll be able to say you did it like a dwarf, a real one !